Hella tight ME!

Everyone confuses me- One minute they're super sweet and nice to you and what not, and the next they act like ur below them and like you don't matter. How do you know when a friend is truely a friend? Someone answer the question please!

Current Mood: how am I supposed to respond?!

This past weekend was so relaxing- I saw my cousin from the East Coast which was very nice because I hardly ever get to see her. I chilled with Gina on monday which was also relaxing and nice. Plus we made shakes which were ummm interesting! And today we came back to school with a whole butt load of work and I'm so stressed out about it- but i'm trying to just get it done so i can move onto DEALL and SPRING BREAK! YES!!!! it will be so nice. there's just so much going on in my head that it will be another nice break from the craziness. everyone call me so we can hang out ova spring break!

Current Mood: blah
Current Music: champagne supernova

Hey- I'm in hawaii right now- it's not too hot... but perfect temp. I'm starting to get a nice tan and for once i'm not sunburnt! thank god- but my cousins are sunburnt heheahhaah. I hope everyone is having a great break- tty all later xo kate

Current Mood: ecstatic
Current Music: since you've been gone

FINALLY OUT OF SCHOOL! NO HOMEWORK TO WORRY ABOUT... ALL I HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IT NOT GETTING SUN BURNT! I'M HELLA EXCITED FOR HAWAII! I'M LEAVING SUNDAY MORNING SO CALL ME IF YOU WANT TO TALK- I LOVE ALL OF YOU AND HOPE YOU HAVE A FANTASTIC BREAK! LOVE ALWAYS- KATE MEYER

Current Mood: so mother fucking excited!
Current Music: YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!

THIS IS THE BEST SONG- IT REALLY SUMS UP EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW! life is great right now!!! (not being sarcastic)

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Dont let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

Remember the good times that we had?
I let them slip away from us when things got bad
How clearly I first saw you smilin in the sun
Wanna feel your warmth upon me, I wanna be the one

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Dont let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

Im so tired but I cant sleep
Standin on the edge of something much too deep
Its funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word
We are screaming inside, but we cant be heard

But I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Dont let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

Im so afraid to love you, but more afraid to loose
Clinging to a past that doesnt let me choose
Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night
You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light

And I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Dont let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

And I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Dont let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Weep not for the memories

I HOPE YOU ALL WILL REMEMBER ME WHEN WE AREN'T TOGETHER EVERYDAY; I'LL NEVER FORGET YOU

Current Mood: confused
Current Music: BRIGHT LIGHTS- goo goo dolls

okay! so today was the worst/ best day of my life. So it all started off terrible with me not doing a french essay, mrs lacks yelling at me, english test, and that whole school day was terrible (except for my flowers and valentines- thanks guys)... and then I came home did my little pieces of hw (i still have this big english essay that i haven't started due tomorrow) but anyways... i came home and got torn apart by everything... however, I think i solved a huge part of my problems so it ended up being a 1/2 good day and it will be even better if i start and finish this essay lol- so yeah no more complaining from me for a while... hopefully! I'm just so happy everything is kinda done with- oh and plus I got to talk to Ryan for like 2 hours and then I talked to ryan and gina for another 40 min together- it was fun fun fun and both of them can't multitask so sometimes i was just talking and no one heard me lol hahaha- good times--- gtg to do this essay- xoxo kate meyer
GIRL POWER!
Advice: just say what you're feeling and most of the time it will relieve your stress

Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: none- i gotta focus!

HAPPY V-DAY TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT! (yeah... i'm looking forward to being single on v-day i guess u can say) Come on guys... we can make the best of the stupid holiday! yaayaya! GIRLS RRULE LOL xo night night, love always, kate

PS- however... mrs. lacks doesn't rule (neither does bio)

Current Mood: doing alright
Current Music: the good kind- the wreckers

How am I supposed to cope with everyone lying to my face?!?! I am who I am, so I'm not going to change just to fit in. So just tell me the truth and i'll try to understand, even if it isn't what I want to hear.

Current Mood: lost and left behind
Current Music: here without you- 3 doors down

THE 2ND TO LAST ONE I POSTED WAS A DREAM... I DON'T BELIEVE IT'S ALL FACTUAL. I HAVE BEEN TOLD A DIFFERNT STORY ABOUT HOW I GOT MY SCAR. NO NEED TO WORRY!

Good times... right?!?!

If you read this, even if I don't speak to you often, you must post a memory of me. It can be anything you want, it can be good or bad, just so long as it happened. Then post this on your journal to see what people remember about you.
Love Ya Guys!

I'm feeling lonely like half the world is... but there are so many things for me to miss, forget, and hope to come back. Night time always sucks so much! I just can't handle it! It's the most lonely part of the night (ever since 5 years ago) I can't stop thinking about my mom. Every night the night that she died flashes in my mind and replays over and over again. Plus when people say "your mom" and all that shit to me... it just really starts to build up even though i know it's not their fault because they don't know... however, i'm desiding to tell the story now so that people will know my story and past so that maybe they're more aware. So if you feel there are certain people that need to know feel free the pass the story a long. (i guess i'm just trying to save my own ass from even more pain).

about six years ago my mom (Rita Meyer) was diagnosed with an extreamly rare case of cancer. Everyday went by and I was only 10 and all i knew about her illness was that cancer could kill you. However, she promised me that she wasn't going to die. therefore being so young, i believed her (i would probably still believe her today b/c she was so smart and she was my mom). However, as the days went by, she started staying home from work (she worked at Ukiah High 11th and 12th English Lit) and one day she came home from Santa Rosa with no hair because she said it was too depressing for her to watch her hair fall out in the shower from the radiation. I cried all night with her. Then in January of 2000 she was getting a lot better, however, by the end of February, she started a steep decline. At this point she couldn't eat and had to be fed by IV and she couldn't walk nor keep her head up. She stayed in bed all day. Finally on easter she came ouside and watched me and my cousins search for easter eggs. Then close to that day she told me that the doctors said that they couldn't do anything else to help her and she only had a very short time to live. Everyday I would go into her room and whenever anyone else would go in she would never wake up... but when I stepped foot into her room she woke up like she knew it was me like i had some "spiritual effect" on her or something. Everyday i would say i would be right back... but it was a few hours before i came back... during that time i didn't think much of it, but now i regret that i never came right back. Then one day i went over to my best friends house. Abbout 30 min after i had gotten there my family friends called and said i had to come back to the house... my mom was really slipping. So from about 2:00- 8:11 pm I sat in her room with her and family. She was on the bed and I sat on the love seat in her room. except when I walked in that time she didn't wake up. She was still breathing. I sat there for hours and finally at about 8:00 my uncle looked over at her and she had stopped breathing. then about 30 seconds after she started again. Then 10 min after that she never woke up again. I walked over and lied down next to her... she was so cold. whenever I touch anything really cold i get a shiver remembering how her flesh felt. But then i kissed her cheek and i noticed that a tear fell from her right eye and i've always wondered if that was out of happiness for being pain free or of sadness for leaving me. (she told me that the only reason she was holding on was because of me). Then shortly after was her memorial service, which was very nice and so many people showed up from all around the world to be there which really moved me. Then I moved to SF

So that's my story. So now hopefully everyone will be more aware. And i don't want anyone to feel sorry for me, i just want people to be aware b/c especially around this time of the year it's extreamly hard for me. Thanks for listening- xo kate

Current Mood: lonely

I'M HORNY! I need to get with someone lol... oh well- w/e



so today i was feeling hella bad during french, but then i suddenly got so much better when mrs. savy said " do you have to actually be jewish to step into the JCC"..... oh man Harvard graduate degree? mrs. savy...? NO FUCKING WAY!

Current Mood: Horny and HOTT!
Current Music: So crazy in Love

so many things in my little head! ugh too much to handle. But i have to deal with all of them right? and then on top of all the things in my head, there's the stupid holiday valentines day coming up. I mean yeah it's great for the people who have boyfriends, wives, w/e they have, but what about the people that don't. it's like a holiday reminding you that you're single (and some people aren't damn proud of it lol) but i mean it's similar to memorial day... remembering all the people who have died. I mean that holiday is nice, but still kinda negative especially for some people. So see- valentines day sucks lol... but the other things in my head are spinning. One of those things is the little reminder "kate your grades are slipping you have to do your hw" (angel) "kate fuck that, it wont be the end of ur life if u miss some stupid hw assignments, w/e blow them off" (devil) haha can't u just imagine me having the devil and little angel on my shoulders hearing them argue back and forth like in the movies lol- oh well... okay i guess i'm going to go do bio and french... then i'll do the rest tomorrow or something- who knows when i'll do it... but i promise i will lol... xo kate

Current Mood: WTF!
Current Music: Ordinary- Train

I had such a nice weekend! On friday I hung out with gina, emily, and sarah. We got a free ice blended from Coffee Bean! oh yeah! and then we all came back to my house and watched an old OC!!! that was fun... Then after they left I went and got my nails done with Paulette and Meryl and then we got max and went to a movie and dinner. Then in the morning me meryl and paulette took a road trip up to Sonoma! It was so beautiful up there. Then we had lunch and meryl and I got masages- they were fantastique! then we went to the hotel... it was too nice. Then meryl and I stayed in the room for the rest of the night while paulette went to a party. Meryl and i watched 3 movies! it was fun. (Sideways, The Polar Express, and The Notebook) Sideways sucked, The Polar Express was alright... not fantastic, and the Notebook WAS AMAZING! I loved it! it was so sad :( but very touching and lovely. Then we talked for a while, and then went to bed. Then we woke up in the morning... got ready... had breakfast... and then started to drive back towards the city and stoped and Corta Medera and went shopping. I didn't buy anything but it was fun i guess lol. And then we came home! da tah! but now i have a shit load of hw and it sucks! so i'm going to go do that- xo bye bye mwah

Current Mood: blank

I LOVE YOU RYAN!

Current Mood: horny

Spend all your time waiting
for that second chance
for a break that would make it okay
there's always one reason
to feel not good enough
and it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
oh beautiful release
memory seeps from my veins
let me be empty
and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

in the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there

so tired of the straight line
and everywhere you turn
there's vultures and thieves at your back
and the storm keeps on twisting
you keep on building the lies
that you make up for all that you lack
it don't make no difference
escaping one last time
it's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

in the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here

(Love you Mommy)

Current Mood: sad
Current Music: Angel- Sarah McLachlan

OMG! I'm in Bio right now... Mrs. Lacks is totally freaking out... she has some major issues- like she needs anger management lol. She just blew up at us for talking about our projects... most teachers would get mad if we were talking about of topic questions lol but no she just BLOWS UP! lol.... k i'm going back to research- xo kate

Current Mood: annoyed by mrs lacks
Current Music: Mrs. Lacks yelling/laughing

TODAY WAS SO BEAUTIFUL! I LOVE THIS WEATHER- LIKE IF I COULD MARRY IT I WOULD IN A HEART BEAT! but today i donnated blood... and really it's not that bad- the worst part is when they prick your finger... the vain stuff isn't bad- But after giving a pint of my blood from my little body i was really tired and dehydrated- which wasn't so good... so gina brought me back a bottle of water which was nice (i think casey went with her too lol) and then i filled that bottle up like 20 more times after that lol... but then i had a dermatolgy appointment which went alright- they put this stuff on my face that i swear is like giving me a face lift! ahhh it's crazy- but then i have to go back and do it again in a month- yeah it's weird. And my aunt got meryl and I mesages for our SPA WEEKEND! this weekend! i'm super excited- we're going to Sonoma because max (my older cousin) is going to tahoe probably with his friend, and my uncle is going to The Vegas for footballl something a rather. But max might join us- so i'm like REALLY EXCITED! hehe- k i haven't done any hw- so i'm going to go do that... have a fabulous sunny day! (hopefully it will still be sunny tomorrow) lots o' love--- KIZATE

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: La La- ASHLEE

There are so many people/ things that I miss, but after missing my mom the most out of anything in the entire world, I miss my horse. I love her so much. She's my little baby... she's a quarter horse with three white socks and a strip down her nose (most of you prob don't have any clue what i'm talking about... but w/e lol) She is so beautiful... My mom and her won a AQHA (American Quarter Horse Association) My mom was amazing at riding, and Splinters (my horse) was so beautiful. Everytime I entered in a horse show, I would win first place ridding her. I love her so much. But when I moved, she started to get really old, so no one can really ride her anymore so she's in Peteluma at a retirement home for horses. I only see her every once and a while- I wish I could still ride her... She was the best horse anyone could ask for! I miss you splint-face <3

But yeah I have a bio test tomorrow so i gotta go study for that! oh joy!!! catch up with y'all lata!

Current Mood: gloomy

DO YOU EVER FEEL LIKE SOME PEOPLE SHOULD JUST CRAWL INTO A HOLE AND BE BITCHY TO THE GOFFERS INSTEAD OF YOU?!?!? I do lol

Thanks for a great weekend guy! Love you all! You're such great friends! (ya girls night)!!!!!

Current Mood: complacent